10 Effective Strategies to Support a Loved One during OCD Treatment
- Jennifer Harris, PsyD
- Oct 13
- 3 min read
In honor of OCD Awareness Week (October 12th–18th), here are 10 effective strategies to offer support, empathy, and care to a loved one with OCD that won't interfere with their treatment and recovery process.
Learn about OCD and ERP
Understand that obsessions and compulsions are symptoms of anxiety, not choices, and that Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) is the most effective treatment.
Avoid “accommodating” OCD
Don’t participate in rituals, provide repeated reassurance, or help your partner avoid feared situations. These behaviors ease anxiety temporarily but strengthen OCD long-term. You can provide emotional support (listen, empathize). It’s hard, but pushing against accommodating contributes to recovery.
Set gentle, consistent boundaries
Decide together what you will and won’t do in response to OCD (such as not answering repeated reassurance questions). Stay kind but consistent because mixed messages can increase distress.
When an OCD or a compulsion request comes up, notice your own urge to help or reassure. Stop and take a breath before responding. It’s hard but helps you keep boundaries.
Respond with empathy, not certainty
Use empathic language: “That must be really hard/anxiety-provoking,” rather than “Why are you doing that?”
When your loved one asks for reassurance: "Did I lock the car?”, try responding with: “I understand that you’re worried. I’m not sure, it’s hard for me to give certainty.” Or: “I know this feels really uncomfortable, and I believe you can handle the uncertainty,” instead of giving reassurance or answers.
Celebrate small wins
Notice and praise effort, like resisting a compulsion for a few minutes, facing a feared situation, or tolerating more uncertainty, not just symptom-free days.
Acknowledge your loved one’s effort. Be patient and set realistic expectations. Everyone improves at different rates. There can be relapses or temporary worsening (especially during exposure to new triggers). Family needs to remember recovery is not linear. Praise effort more than perfection.
Support, don’t rescue
Encourage your loved one to use coping skills or ERP tools instead of solving the anxiety for them. For example, if your partner avoids doing something due to OCD, maybe you can help plan exposures with them (but not by doing them for them).
Tolerate your own discomfort
Watching your partner/family member struggle is hard. Learn to sit with your own anxiety about their distress, this models the same skill they’re practicing.
Take care of yourself
Maintain your own hobbies, friendships, and rest. Supporting someone with OCD is emotionally taxing, and burnout helps no one.
Communicate openly
Talk about how OCD impacts the relationship and how you both can work as a team without making OCD the “third person” in your relationship.
Encourage professional treatment and teamwork
If possible, attend a family session with your partner’s therapist to learn how to respond in alignment with their treatment plan.
Supporting someone with OCD can take patience and care, but small, intentional steps make a big difference in their recovery. Use these strategies to help you reconnect, be more present, and enjoy your time together. For more guidance, reach out here to connect with one of our therapists and explore the helpful resources below.
Resources:
Abramowitz, J. S. (2021). The Family Guide to Getting Over OCD: Reclaim Your Life and Help Your Loved One. Guilford Press.
Abramowitz, J. S., et al. (2011). “Family accommodation in obsessive–compulsive disorder: Current status and future directions.” Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 1(3), 167–173.
Abramowitz, J. S., & Jacoby, R. J. (2015). “Obsessive–compulsive disorder in adults.” The Lancet Psychiatry, 2(8), 658–668 — evidence supporting ERP as the gold standard treatment.
International OCD Foundation: iocdf.org
The OCD Stories Podcast, Episode “The Family Guide to Getting Over OCD” (Interview with Dr. Jonathan Abramowitz).
Purely OCD Podcast: purelyocd.com
Purely OCD Podcast, Episodes: “OCD Recovery and Everyday Life.” & “OCD and Community.”
